Here’s what I know:
I’m a stubborn, hard headed,
perfectionist who makes about a hundred mistakes every day. A lot of the time I
make the same stupid mistakes over and over and over. I am stupid emotional. I
can’t keep anything clean. I get upset when I make a B on a paper when I wanted
it to be an A. I care way too much about what people think about me. I spazz
out when things don’t go my way. I am an imperfect girl living in a world that
stresses being a certain way……….And there is a God who loves me. There is a God
who created me uniquely. Who took the time to plan every moment of my life. Who
loves me despite all of my stupid imperfections. Who understands how I feel on
the days when all I want to do is lay in bed under my covers, or on the days
when I can barely function. Who can look past my feelings of inferiority,
insecurity, and self doubt and see something beautiful that he adores. To this
day, I don’t understand how He can do that with not just me but all of us. He
has provided for me throughout my ups and downs during high school and even now
in college. I’m an emotional person. God has provided a TON
of emotional support that I desperately need. He’s the center of everything I
do.
Everything changes when you have to grow up. You
have to get a job to pay for things, you have to make hard decisions, and you have to balance your entire life during the twelve hours you're awake during the day. I'm not a girl who likes change. There are many days when I throw my hands up in the air because life is swirling around me, and I can't control it. I get frustrated. I get antsy. I get mad. I begin to wonder and think 'how on earth can I handle everything? If I can't handle small things what happens when big things show up??' And then I remember...God has gotten me through everything so far.
He’s given me the right people at just the right time. He’s reminded me that
it’s ok to not be perfect. He’s shown time and time again that He cares for me.
His plan for me is still unfolding and I just have to sit back and sit tight.
He’s going to do what He knows is best for me, and that’s why that even though
I get so frustrated with how He does things at the end of every day I can fall
in love with God even more.
"Here in the power of Christ I stand."
