"Unspoken."
Sometimes, there are situations in which this is an okay answer. There are even situations where this is the only ok answer. I want to say now, in the beginning of this post, that I'm not condoning the use of this word. But, I think there are times when christians say this and use it as a blanket answer to avoid messy conversations and getting too personal with people.
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Take what I did today as an example. Someone asked me how they could pray for me, and they were 100% genuine. There were no ulterior motives, there was no hidden agenda. I responded with a generic "Patience for dealing with my kids at work. We're all getting a little restless since we haven't been able to play outside in a while." and a nonchalant "And an unspoken...just some personal things I'm dealing with."
The person asking if she could pray for me gave me an earnest "Ok! You got it!" and our small group went on sharing prayer requests.
The truth?
My real prayer request wasn't for patience at work or for motivation at school. My real prayer request was for strength while dealing with severe depression spells and major anxiety attacks for the last couple of weeks. It's exhausting. I'm exhausted. I'm burned out and fed up with things life keeps throwing at me. They aren't even big things! It's just a million and one little things that overwhelm me. I'm in a weird, dark, funky place and there's nothing I can do right now that feels like it's helpful or productive. I can't sleep at night and I can't stop crying during the day. I feel utterly helpless and defeated and those are miserable things to feel. So my real prayer request is for strength to make it through this week tomorrow and maybe the next day so I can focus on making it through the days after that since every day is a battle to push through the negative emotions and things I'm feeling.
But to admit that would be to admit that I'm a messy person with messy feelings.
To admit that would mean to admit that the smile on my face is just a really good mask.
To admit that would mean to admit that I don't have my life together at all.
To admit that might mean that someone will judge me and not like me and my broken, messed up life...
So I smile and say "Unspoken."
Sure, they can pray for Melissa's unspoken prayer request. God knows what I'm referring to, and when they pray for it He'll know exactly what they're talking about. I have no doubt in my mind that this is true. But, my family and friends, my brothers and sisters in Christ, will not know how to encourage me. They will not know that the simple "Hello! I hope you have a great day!" text message means the world to me. They won't have a clue that I'm struggling with something so painful. How can I expect them to? I won't tell them, so how will they know?
Every single week I hear people say "I have an unspoken prayer request that I need lifted up." or I read someone else's response to the question "How can I pray for you?" and see the word "Unspoken." And it just makes me wonder if they hurt as much as I do when the thick, three syllable word rolls off my tongue.
There's a time and a place for everything. Maybe the middle of the supermarket where you run into someone who sits a few rows ahead of you during service isn't the best time or place to go into your life story and detailed struggles of the past week or the weeks ahead. But maybe earlier when someone asked me how they could pray for me I should've just said "You know, I've really been struggling with depression and anxiety attacks for the last several weeks and I could just use some encouragement." because I was with people I know and trust, and in a situation where it would have been okay.
It's okay to be real with people. It's okay to be honest. It's okay to open up to one another and use the struggles in your life to encourage each other and build each other up. We don't have to live perfect Pinterest lives. We don't have to smile all the time. We don't have to have it all together. We can be messy and broken and beautiful, but we can do it together.
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Galatians 6:2 "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ"
Romans 12:!5 "Rejoice with those who rejoice. Mourn with those who mourn."
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