The Foxes in the Vineyard

If you know me at all, you know music means a lot to me. (If you don't know me...music means a lot to me. Now you know.) I listen to a little bit of everything, and there really isn't much I would say I don't like. (Except maybe polka music. I haven't found a polka song that I'm particularly fond of yet.)  Every once in a while I stumble upon something that I think is catchy and I'll play it on repeat for a little while. Recently, I was on an Audrey Assad kick because we sang one of her songs at church a few months ago that I really liked. I had a playlist all set up, and I spent several days listening to Audrey on repeat. Her voice is beautiful, and I was particularly fond of her versions of a few traditional hymns. There was this one song that came up a few times that I thought was really pretty, but it took three or four times of me listening to it for the lyrics to sink in. I assume that you probably haven't heard the song since it isn't very well known, so take a moment to let the lyrics sink in before you go any further...

"I put all my hope in the truth of Your promise, And I steady my heart on the ground of Your goodness. When I’m bowed down with sorrow, I will lift up Your name! And the foxes in the vineyard will not steal my joy Because You are good to me, good to me...I lift up my eyes to the hills where my help is found. Your voice fills the night – raise my head up to hear the sound! Though fires burn all around me I will praise You, my God! And the foxes in the vineyard will not steal my joyBecause You are good to me, good to me...Your goodness and mercy shall follow meAll my lifeI will trust in Your promise"

I listened to it several times before I googled the phrase "foxes in the vineyard" to see it's significance. I stumbled upon an article from Living Proof Ministries. You can read it here. (Seriously. Go read it. It's pretty short. I'll wait here. I promise I'll still be here when you get back.)
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Words would fail me if I tried to put it more eloquently than the article that you just read. The image of foxes in a vineyard sneaking in after dark to ruin all of the hard work people put into it during the day is so powerful to me. I can't tell you how many times my life has been full of lots of little foxes. And what's worse? I think sometimes I have been guilty of knowingly letting them into my 'vineyard.' 

As Christians we strive to glorify God in all that we do. Our 'vineyards' are full of pruning out wickedness, malice, deceit, poor choices, and anything else that is not of God. I don't know about you, but it's just not always easy...

Imagine you're outside. It's a ridiculous hot day, but you're out there anyway and you're sweating. The thermometer says 86 degrees but the humidity makes it feel like 96.

The sun is shining down relentlessly as you pull weeds from the garden in your front yard. You aren't doing it because you want to, but because you know that if you don't then the stupid things are going to take over your entire front yard. You pick and pull; sweat and gripe; groan and complain about a few dumb weeds. The day goes on. You take a couple of lemonade breaks, but other than that you spend your entire day making sure that your yard looks as beautiful as you can possibly make it. You put down new top soil, you plant new flowers, you trim the bushes, you clean the mailbox, etc.

Finally, as the day ends, you look around and are very pleased with how everything looks. So, you gather up your shovels. You pick up the empty bags that were once full of foul smelling mulch, discard the empty boxes that once held your newly planted peonies, and you turn to walk towards the house where a hot shower and a cozy bed are waiting for you. As you're taking tired steps towards the door to your house, a noise catches your attention. You look back and not too far in the distance across the way, you can see your neighbors having a party outside with some other friends. They see you looking towards them and smile and wave. One calls out..."Hey! Your yard looks great! Did you spend the entire day on it?!!?"

"Thank you! Not the whole day, but most of it. I've been trying to work on it just a little bit at a time for the last few months. I think it's done now."

"That's awesome! Hey, how 'bout we treat you to dinner tonight? You let us come over there and hang out, and we'll grill up a couple of steaks!"

You stop and think about it. Steak is your favorite...but you're also worried that if you let a bunch of people come over and hang out, then maybe they'll step on your new peonies. Or what if someone decides to play horseshoes and uses your tomato plant stalks as the stake? Oh...why not? I mean, not all of your neighbors parties end up in giant messes. They've gotten themselves into trouble a few times, but not every single time...You look over at your neighbor's yard. It isn't that big of a mess. The lawn hasn't been mowed in several months, but the grass is dead so you can't even tell. The flower beds are just large patches of dandelions and decaying leaves, but there aren't any flowers trying to pop up there anyway so that probably doesn't even matter. You look under the big oak tree standing guard over your neighbor's yard. There's a few empty cans and bottles, but surely they would know not to leave trash in someone else's yard. Right? So you finally reply- "Sure. That sounds great! How nice of ya'll! Make yourself at home. I'll be out in a few minutes."

You go inside and take a long, hot shower and change into a fresh pair of shorts and your favorite tank top. You grab a coke from the fridge and step outside.

Your breath catches in your throat. In a span of a mere fifteen to twenty minutes everything has been destroyed. 

You watch in horror as your peonies are being trampled by two guys throwing a frisbee back and forth.

Your neighbor brought her dog over and he's burying bones in the new mulch you've laid out.

A few kids have shown up and are playing hide and go seek in the vegetable garden. They lean on the tomato plants and hide under the leaves of your zucchini- bending the leaves and pushing over the stalks.

Your neighbor brought her own grill and rolled it through a pile of mud on the way, tracking mud and grime all over your clean driveway.

All your hard work...destroyed in a matter of minutes. 

Now, hopefully you can't relate too closely to this story. It's a bit extreme if I may say so myself, but I hope you get the idea in your head a little better. Sometimes in life we work really hard, we put forth all the effort we should and we genuinely strive to honor God. (If it's genuine, this isn't a bad thing.) And then as we become tired and we look around at worldly things, we think to ourselves "Gosh...wouldn't it be easier if I just did _____" 

• Wouldn't it be easier if I just slept in next Sunday morning? I wouldn't have to go to bed so early tonight and I could get some more stuff done...

• Wouldn't it be easier if I just didn't go to bible study for a few weeks? I could finally make time and go to the gym...or to the new Chinese Buffett...or something. (It's cool, I'm not judging. You can go to the gym the week after you try the sushi roll.)

• Wouldn't it be easier if I hung out with my non christian friends for a while? I'm supposed to disciple others, right? Now I have friends that do fun stuff and I get to show them how I'm a christian. Win-win! Right?

• Wouldn't it be easier if I went to that party and drank a little bit? I mean, I don't want people to think I'm stuck up. I'm not prudish. I can be fun.

• Wouldn't it be easier if I watched that show everyone is talking about? Yeah, they cuss a lot. But it's not like I haven't heard those words before. No big deal. I could always be watching something worse, right? What's the big deal?

• Wouldn't it be easier if I just told everyone I was ok? No one wants to hear me talk about how I'm struggling...

• Wouldn't it be easier if I just kept pretending like I had it all together? No one wants to hang out with someone who can't keep it together...

• Wouldn't it be easier if____________.

Fill in the blank. Foxes aren't always obvious, but they come around all the time. They sneak into our lives when "life" happens. For me, I think the little foxes in my life are powered by fears of rejection and failure. I stress out about tests and presentations, so my foxes burrow their way into my anxiety ridden heart. I get concerned over what people think about me and I get angry when I think the talk is negative, so the foxes chew on my courage and every ounce of self esteem that I have until they have broken down fences and covered my soul in cynicism and bitterness.

"Jealousy, envy, discord, anger, bitterness, insecurity, anxiety, lust, discouragement, hatred and the list could go on and on. If we don’t continually nip them in the bud, the foxes will seek to spoil the growing fruitful vineyards."

It isn't always the easy option, but I hope that I can refocus and train myself to not let foxes sneak into the vineyard and steal my joy. I will not allow them to ambush and demolish the life that I have built in Christ by deceiving me into doing what I do not wish to do. It isn't always easy, but it's worth it. 

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

If you choose to allow your eardrums to succumb to my attempts at singing, then I would greatly prefer you hit play and open another window to listen to your email or something else. I'm rocking some raccoon eyes and the slicked back hair...and I make some pretty awkward faces. ;) If you can make it through the first 20 seconds I think your little ears will be in the clear.


In the event that my link does not work you can copy and paste the following :) http://blog.lproof.org/2013/12/the-foxes-in-the-vineyard.html

My Deepest Confession

This is who I am...

Well, it's what I look like anyway.

Brown hair. Brown eyes. Peachy Skin. I'm just an average person. I put my shoes on one foot at a time just like everyone else does...

I work with kids, and sometimes I do stupid stuff like this. It's fun though, so it doesn't matter all that much that there are a bunch of straws on my head...

I've gone most of my life and never thought I was anything special. I'm Melissa. I'm average, and that's ok. 

Not everyone can be extraordinary. If everyone was extraordinary then no one would be. You have to have the ordinary folks to set the incredible ones apart. 

For a while I tried really really hard for people to consider me to be something extra special. I've gone through seasons in life where I wanted so badly for people to like me that I would hurt myself or make myself really sick.

Eventually, I just stopped trying.

I would tell myself again and again that I just wasn't beautiful like other girls.

I told myself that again and again until I not only believed it but accepted it as a truth. 

Recently, I've had to change my outlook on this particular subject. 

Do you see these flowers? These flowers are very special to me. They were given to me as a gift from a little girl I babysit. 

Flowers Shmowers. Big Whoop. What does that have to do with anything?

I'm so glad you asked...

I look at the little girl who gave me those flowers, and I think about how beautiful she is. She's adorable on the outside with a little button nose and her little four year old features, but her thoughtfulness and kindness are oh so precious. 

I used to look up to my babysitters, teachers, and women in my life in general that I considered to be role models growing up and I thought they were the most beautiful people in the world.

How lucky was I? To be surrounded by such amazing, beautiful women who were also so wonderful and kind?

Yet, I've grown up and wholeheartedly believed that I'm not beautiful.

I entirely believed that no one could ever look at me with the eyes that I've looked at so many with. Eyes full of adoration and admiration.

That sweet little girl looked at me and said "These flowers are so pretty, just like you."

She changed my life and she'll probably never even know...

I work with kids all the time. I work with young ladies and closely with people my own age too. I don't ever want a single one of them to think they aren't beautiful. 

I want them to know that they are fearfully and wonderfully made, and that God loves them very much.

I want them to know that they can be proud of their accomplishments and do anything they dream that they can do.

I want them to know that even if they don't look like a Kardashian or a model, it's what's inside that counts.

I've always known those things. I've always told others those things, but I can't say I've ever believed them myself.

I'm incredibly sorry to the girls that I've been 'preaching' to about self-worth, but that all that time I didn't believe it applied to me...

...Thank you for reminding me of the gospel.

Thank you for showing me over and over again that the inside is what makes each of extraordinary.

Thank you to the sweet sweet angels in my life who have taught me how to love fiercely and to be passionate about all that I do.

Thank you to those who have taught me how to treat others...

...and for telling me again and again how special I was. Even when I didn't believe it.

Thank you to those who have taught me how to have a beautiful heart, and to those who have told me that I am beautiful on the outside...

I think I'm learning to finally believe you.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 "He has made everything beautiful in it's time."