Here's the truth. It's not sugarcoated, and I hope it helps prepare you for what's to come. I know the future seems scary and you don't think you'll be able to do it, but you're stronger and braver than you think. You can do this. The real world isn't so bad, but you need to know that preparing for this thing called "adulthood" is hard. Like, really hard. But it's doable. ;) Look around you. People survive their teenage years and college years all the time. You're going to be fine.
I grew up in the Bible Belt. I didn't attend church super regularly as a kid, but I went enough to know basic Bible stories (Moses, Noah, Jesus, Abraham, etc) I found an amazing church home in my teen years. I gave my life to Christ right before my freshman year of high school and didn't look back. I was a good teenager- I didn't party. I didn't try drugs. I didn't drink alcohol. I didn't sneak out. I didn't do things I wasn't supposed to do because A) I had zero desire to do so and B) I knew that Christians weren't supposed to do those things.
People in my life (christians and non-christians alike) emphasized the importance of keeping good company and not falling in love with worldly things, so I tried my absolute best to listen to their instructions/words of warning. People I associated with in high school were, for the most part, all Christians. I was the president of C.L.I.C.K my freshman year of high school. I was involved with other christian extracurriculars the other three years of high school. I regularly met with kids before school and prayed for our school/community. In addition to that, any time I spent outside of school was generally spent with Christian friends from church either at church or somewhere in my very small rural/suburban community. Being a Christian was kind of easy. I never had a desire to do anything that I "wasn't supposed to do" and the people I hung out with never did either. Sure, I struggled with things that everyone struggles with. I gossiped, I lied, I cheated: I'm not claiming to be perfect. I had sin in my life just like everyone else does. I'm trying to say that being a Christian in high school wasn't as hard as being a Christian in college. I never really had to miss out on anything in High School.
Let's fast forward to where I am today.
(Almost) 21 years old. (Almost) Finished with my junior year at the University of Memphis.
Being a Christian in a college setting is the single most difficult thing I've ever had to do in my life. (For those of you that know any backstory about my medical history/battles with mental illness you know that this is a very bold statement.)
Not everyone in college grew up in the Bible Belt.
Not everyone in college grew up in a suburban neighborhood with a church on every street corner.
Not everyone in college believes in God.
Not everyone in college is capable of respecting those that DO believe in God.
I always heard the verse "Pray for those who persecute you..." sitting in Sunday school classes or small groups. I heard lesson after lesson of how to avoid peer pressure and glorify Christ. I heard what my youth leaders were saying, but I couldn't really apply it to my life until after I graduated high school.
You don't really understand it until one of your friends looks at you and says "I'm done with this church thing. It's just a bunch of naive idiots looking to an invisible magician in the sky to make life seem a little less dreary." or a professor opens a class on the first day by saying "There are two types of people in this world I can't stand: homosexuals and people who believe in God."
You don't really understand the verse "Pray for those who persecute you..." until you tell a peer or someone you see on campus that you'll be praying for them and they look at you and laugh; telling you that you're a dumb*** who clings to traditionalism and refuses to embrace modern day science and evidence against any type of organized religion...in front of a dozen or so classmates.
You don't really understand those high school youth group lessons about peer pressure until suddenly you're put in a situation where several of your Christian friends are of an acceptable societal age to drink alcohol and are telling you to take a few beers or down several glasses of wine because it really isn't a big deal.
College is very different than high school.
When someone asks you what you do for fun and you say that you spend a lot of time at your church hanging out with your Sunday school class and singing in the choir, they give you a funny look and call you boring.
When someone sees you reading your Bible out in public or watching videos of sermons from John Piper or Francis Chan they ask you why you would ever spend your free time doing something like that. They roll their eyes and tell you to keep your religion to yourself.
When people around you are arguing about politics and inequality, and they stop to ask you how you can believe in a God who allows such injustices and violence in our world, they yell at you and call you names for giving them any type of answer that isn't "I don't believe in a god."
When the people around you begin to discuss their sex lives and look at you incredulously with disbelief when you say "I'm saving myself for my future husband" in a response to the ever popular question "When was YOUR first time?"
I can't tell you how many times in the last three years I've struggled to hold tightly to the word of God. My close Christian friends that I had in high school moved away or decided that the whole "church thing" wasn't for them. A lot of "Christian friends" I started off with in college did a whole lot of drinking, a whole lot of 'sleeping' and a whole lot of things that were not encouraging to me or glorifying to Christ. I've lost several friends over the course of my college career.
Don't get me wrong. I'm complaining some, but I'm also very thankful for these trials that I have been faced with. I've lost friends, but I've grown closer to the ones who have stuck around. I've lost friends, but I've also learned how to befriend those who do have different beliefs than me. I've learned how to be a better listener. I've learned how to show others proper respect. I've learned a ton about other religions and cultures and places and all sorts of things. I've learned how to stand up for what I believe in. I've learned how to pick my battles and how to respectfully disagree with someone if I need to. I've grown extremely close to the people I go to church with (all ages and all types of people) and I've been really blessed by some amazing mentors in my life. College has taught me a TON and for that I am thankful. Above all, I would say that college has forced me to become extremely dependent on the Lord. I am definitely closer to Christ than i ever was in high school, and at the time I didn't ever think that would be possible.
All this being said, I want you to know it's going to be okay.
You're going to mess up. You're going to make mistakes. You're going to question your faith and wonder if it's all worth it. You'll feel guilty for wondering those types of things and then you'll feel even worse. You might try smoking. You might get drunk. You might flunk a class. You might ____ (fill in the blank with something you swore you wouldn't ever do.) You aren't going to be perfect. You're going to face some challenges and be in situations sometimes that are just beyond your control. Welcome to adulthood. :/ It kind of stinks sometimes.
But you aren't alone.
My advice? Find a group of people who will hold you accountable and encourage you in your walk with Christ. (Note that I didn't say "find christian friends." They aren't always the same thing.) Spend time in the word and fill your heart and mind with as much of God's Truth as you can. Make a playlist of praise music that really encourages you. Read books and articles from Christians who want to pass on knowledge that they've gained over the years. Prepare yourself, and be prepared to know that not everybody in this world is going to think like you and believe in the same things that you do. That's what makes this world such a beautiful place. Embrace it, pray for those that need your prayers, and get ready to tackle this thing called "adulting." It's kind of sucktastic sometimes, but they say it gets harder form this point on and that these are the best years of our life. Guess that means we better find out a way to enjoy it while we can, right?
You aren't alone. Remember that I'm here for you and that I love you, but we serve a God who's here for you and loves you so much more. He will never leave you or forsake you (Deut. 31:6) he has a plan for your life (Jer. 29:11) and His mercies are new every morning (Lam. 3:22-23)
Take a deep breath. Enjoy this season of life and be excited for what the future holds! You're going to be fine.
