When You Say You're A Pumpkin....You Better Live Like A Pancake

This past Sunday we had a girls' night for our middle and high school girls at my church. We loaded up some cars, went to a pumpkin patch and picked pumpkins, and went back to the church and ate pancakes for dinner. It was our first girls' night of the school year and I think overall it went really well!

           

For our devotional, I decided to tell the story of the pumpkin parable. It's something I've heard dozens of time for several years around Halloween time, but also a lesson that I feel like is still relevant regardless of how many times you've heard it.

When you go to a pumpkin patch, you pick out a pumpkin. You take it home, wash it off, gently remove the gross stuff on the inside, carve it into what you want it to be, and then put a candle in it to light up when it's dark out. As christians, God does the same thing to us. He takes us in, washes the sins off of us, and begins to remove the things within us that do not glorify Him. When that's complete He begins to carve us into the kind of people He wants us to be and he sends us out into the world to be a light for His name. 

It's a very short lesson and very straight to the point, so I decided to add the following part to accompany our theme:

We made pancakes tonight too! We stacked them up, and smothered them in layers of butter and syrup. Then we covered them in piles of strawberries, bananas, whipped cream, chocolate chips, nutella, and who knows what else! Be aware that sometimes as Christians we can live like pancakes too, and it's not necessarily a good thing. Sometimes we feel flat and like we have the weight of our world on our shoulders, so we add more and more to cover up our insecurities. Our stacks become tall and imbalanced, so we cover them with security in money, popularity, boys, opinions of others, and all sorts of things. God isn't looking for the tallest and prettiest stack of pancakes though, is He? He doesn't need you to be a perfect stack in order to use you to serve others. He can use you even if you're just a regular short stack! I know how easy it is to feel like you have to do more in order to make God happy, but the truth is that you don't. The truth is that when God picks you up out of that pumpkin patch, regardless of whether or not you feel like you're deserving of it, He's willing to do the 'dirty work' in order to make you who He wants you to be. He has a purpose for you! There are a variety of pumpkins in the world! Look around at the variety we picked just this evening! In the bible God used a diverse group of people to accomplish work for His kingdom. We can look at David, Saul, Abraham, and Moses and see imperfections that God used to glorify who He is. God can use us and our imperfections as well, we just have to allow Him to shape us into who He wants us to be and say "Ok God. Whatever you need me to be. I'm willing to do that for you."

It was a bit of a stretch, but it seemed to work. I was really excited about how God used that little lesson to provide some encouragement to a group of girls and to kick off the week on a good foot...and a sugar high. I forgot to mention we made a spontaneous trip to Sheridan's too. Ice-cream and Pancakes for dinner; you can't go wrong.

Today is Thursday, and I'm still thinking about that little devotional...

Within less than 24 hours I was asked to do something extremely out of my comfort zone! I was asked to attend a youth retreat several months from now, and share my testimony with a group of students. I can write until my fingers fall off, and I can get up in front of a group of kids and find three or four different ways to teach the rock cycle or photosynthesis, but I have the worst fear of public speaking.

But Melissa, you talk all the time. You sing solos at church. You're not even that shy.

Yeah yeah yeah. I know that. ("Those who don't know me think I'm quiet. Those who do wish I was.")  I don't know what it is, but any kind of formal situations where I'm asked to talk in front of people makes me want to throw up. My Oral Communications Class that I had to take a few semesters ago is what I thought was seriously going to kill me. For my first speech we had to get up and introduce ourselves to the class. Want me to tell you how that went?

"Hi....ummmm......I'm.....I mean.....Hello, My name is......ummmmm....hang on.....let me start over. Melissa Jennings is my name.....ummmmmm.....that sounds stupid....ok. So I'm Melissa and I am a sophomore in college at the school where we all attend in Memphis."

DISATROUS.

If you had asked me a week ago, or even the day before I shared that devotional with my girls, to speak in front of a group of people I would have laughed and said no way no how!!!!! But those last words resonated in my mind. "God can use us and our imperfections as well, we just have to allow Him to shape us into who He wants us to be and say "Ok God. Whatever you need me to be. I'm willing to do that for you."

Ok God.
Whatever you need me to be.
I'm willing to do that for you.

Ok God. You're giving me an opportunity to glorify you and share the gospel with a lot of people. 

I'm not a good speaker, but I'll do whatever you need me to be.

This isn't my favorite activity but I'm willing to do that for you.

And just like that I said I'd do it, and within moments I felt the panic seeping into my mind and body. Anxious thoughts and doubts were pouring out of me.

What if I don't do it right?
What if they don't like me?
What if I pass out or throw up or something?
What if I can't do it at all?
What if they change their mind?
What if I share too much and I ruin everything?
What if the power goes out while I'm talking and the microphone shocks my lip and I turn into a superhero with fire breathing powers and I'm forced to live a double life of a teacher and a local hero who secretly defends the community at night?

...yeah. Definitely not that last one...

So immediately I start thinking of all the things I can start doing to prepare myself in the upcoming months.

Melissa, if you just lost weight and wore more make up then maybe you won't be so self conscious in front of a group of people.

Melissa, if you just bought more expensive clothes that fit perfectly on you then you'd get a lot of compliments and people wouldn't notice anything about how you look anyway.

Melissa, if you edit your testimony and only leave in the parts that make you sound good then people are going to like you regardless of all your messiness.

And just like that, I became that stack of pancakes. Funny how God works isn't it? It's funny how I put together a quick little devotional this week that I've heard a hundred times and that I thought was kind of goofy, but it's been a huge presence in my life this week. It's funny that I thought I was above needing to be reminded of the gospel. It amazes me when God allows me to see how pieces of His plan are unfolding right before my eyes.





It's still something I'm nervous about, but now I'm more excited for the opportunity than I am anything else. I've been praying about it a lot and I have a confidence that God is going to give me the words to say that are going to bring Him the most glory. I just have to trust Him. This song has been on repeat the last few days, and I hope it provides you with as much encouragement as it's provided me.

Let's Not Cry Over a Spilled Coffee...

Sometimes I feel like a grown up, and sometimes I feel like that same self conscious 13 year old girl sitting in the back of the room with my head in a book praying no one will talk to me. There's a quote that goes around on Facebook from time to time that summarizes this perfectly. I'm sure you've seen it before:

Today I was feeling pretty grown up. (Don't worry, it was a brief feeling...) For a moment, I thought that maybe I was the adultier adult, and it was a nice feeling...

I was in Starbucks doing homework and took the lid off my coffee to let it cool down because it was too hot to drink. I was reading an assignment for school, and reached out for my coffee cup. I brought it to my lips, got ready to take a dainty little sip, and spilled half a cup of coffee all over my brand new shirt that I bought yesterday. Ya'll. 

I forgot I took the lid off of my coffee cup and seriously missed my mouth.

There's coffee everywhere. On the table, on the chair, on my computer trackpad (Praise the Lord it didn't spill on my keyboard!!!!!!!) and of course all over me.

If missing your mouth because you forgot you didn't have a lid on your coffee cup doesn't make you feel like a giant three year old, I don't know what will. 

I didn't get embarrassed though. I didn't sheepishly apologize to a barista or anyone enjoying their coffee and this goofy little show performed by yours truly. I didn't get anxious and leave like I would have in the past. I didn't cry. I didn't text a friend and ask what I ought to do. I cleaned it up, refilled my coffee, and moved on. That seems like the "well duh" response, but in the past any or all of those things would have been my first response. 

My whole life I thought I would reach this magical age where I got my crap together, and stop doing stupid things like spill my coffee or get on the 240 loop going Northbound when I want to go South. I've told myself time and time again that one day it'd be okay because I would figure out how to be a classy, mature, as-close-to-perfect, adult and I'd figure all of life's secrets out. I'll be the adultiest adult ever.

HA.

Let me reevaluate that real quick...

I don't think I'll ever be the adultier adult. I definitely won't be the adultiest adult in any situation. There's always going to be someone who knows more than I do, and all I can do is hope and pray they pass down their wisdom to me. My pastor tells us all the time "The wise man learns from being bit by the snake, but the wiser man learns from watching the other guy get bit." I hope I continuously seek opportunities for people to teach me and show me things they have learned over the years and that I apply those teachings to my own life. But the more I listen, the more I realize being a grown up has nothing to do with not spilling your coffee. It's how you respond when you have to clean it up.

I did one of those goofy Facebook things the other day where you click on a link and it takes you to a website that uses your profile picture to answer a prompt. Who's going to be on your A Team when zombies take over the world? Who will bail you out of jail? What celebrity do you look like? There's no actual reasoning behind the answers, the website just uses who you interacted with the most recently. 

The one I did the other day was "Based on your profile picture how much have you experienced in your life?" The answer is some cliche computer nonsense that can literally be applied to anyone on the face of the earth, but I was taken aback by the side by side picture comparison. (Lol partially because the 2013 picture looks like I'm topless and that made me laugh out loud for real. For the record, it's a one shoulder dress and the sleeve is on the other side.) The girl from 2013 and the girl from 2016 is the same person, but we're also so very different. College has changed me, I would like to say for the better, and for that I am thankful. For my young friends embarking on their new adventures in life and are anxious about what the future holds, my advice to you is to listen. Listen to those "adultier adults" and be thankful for both your own imperfections that you can learn from, and the transparent imperfections of others. It's how you learn. I know it's how I've learned.

I'm going to make many more mistakes in my life. I imagine some of them will be a little more serious than spilling coffee on my new shirt, but I hope that I have a similar response every time. That I own up to my actions and clean up whatever mess I got myself into, and apologize when I need to.

I am not perfect, and I never will be. But I can strive to glorify God in all that I do, put others before myself, and love people to the best of my ability. There's no time to cry over a spilled coffee.