For our devotional, I decided to tell the story of the pumpkin parable. It's something I've heard dozens of time for several years around Halloween time, but also a lesson that I feel like is still relevant regardless of how many times you've heard it.
When you go to a pumpkin patch, you pick out a pumpkin. You take it home, wash it off, gently remove the gross stuff on the inside, carve it into what you want it to be, and then put a candle in it to light up when it's dark out. As christians, God does the same thing to us. He takes us in, washes the sins off of us, and begins to remove the things within us that do not glorify Him. When that's complete He begins to carve us into the kind of people He wants us to be and he sends us out into the world to be a light for His name.
It's a very short lesson and very straight to the point, so I decided to add the following part to accompany our theme:
We made pancakes tonight too! We stacked them up, and smothered them in layers of butter and syrup. Then we covered them in piles of strawberries, bananas, whipped cream, chocolate chips, nutella, and who knows what else! Be aware that sometimes as Christians we can live like pancakes too, and it's not necessarily a good thing. Sometimes we feel flat and like we have the weight of our world on our shoulders, so we add more and more to cover up our insecurities. Our stacks become tall and imbalanced, so we cover them with security in money, popularity, boys, opinions of others, and all sorts of things. God isn't looking for the tallest and prettiest stack of pancakes though, is He? He doesn't need you to be a perfect stack in order to use you to serve others. He can use you even if you're just a regular short stack! I know how easy it is to feel like you have to do more in order to make God happy, but the truth is that you don't. The truth is that when God picks you up out of that pumpkin patch, regardless of whether or not you feel like you're deserving of it, He's willing to do the 'dirty work' in order to make you who He wants you to be. He has a purpose for you! There are a variety of pumpkins in the world! Look around at the variety we picked just this evening! In the bible God used a diverse group of people to accomplish work for His kingdom. We can look at David, Saul, Abraham, and Moses and see imperfections that God used to glorify who He is. God can use us and our imperfections as well, we just have to allow Him to shape us into who He wants us to be and say "Ok God. Whatever you need me to be. I'm willing to do that for you."
It was a bit of a stretch, but it seemed to work. I was really excited about how God used that little lesson to provide some encouragement to a group of girls and to kick off the week on a good foot...and a sugar high. I forgot to mention we made a spontaneous trip to Sheridan's too. Ice-cream and Pancakes for dinner; you can't go wrong.
Today is Thursday, and I'm still thinking about that little devotional...
Within less than 24 hours I was asked to do something extremely out of my comfort zone! I was asked to attend a youth retreat several months from now, and share my testimony with a group of students. I can write until my fingers fall off, and I can get up in front of a group of kids and find three or four different ways to teach the rock cycle or photosynthesis, but I have the worst fear of public speaking.
But Melissa, you talk all the time. You sing solos at church. You're not even that shy.
Yeah yeah yeah. I know that. ("Those who don't know me think I'm quiet. Those who do wish I was.") I don't know what it is, but any kind of formal situations where I'm asked to talk in front of people makes me want to throw up. My Oral Communications Class that I had to take a few semesters ago is what I thought was seriously going to kill me. For my first speech we had to get up and introduce ourselves to the class. Want me to tell you how that went?
"Hi....ummmm......I'm.....I mean.....Hello, My name is......ummmmm....hang on.....let me start over. Melissa Jennings is my name.....ummmmmm.....that sounds stupid....ok. So I'm Melissa and I am a sophomore in college at the school where we all attend in Memphis."
DISATROUS.
If you had asked me a week ago, or even the day before I shared that devotional with my girls, to speak in front of a group of people I would have laughed and said no way no how!!!!! But those last words resonated in my mind. "God can use us and our imperfections as well, we just have to allow Him to shape us into who He wants us to be and say "Ok God. Whatever you need me to be. I'm willing to do that for you."
Ok God.
Whatever you need me to be.
I'm willing to do that for you.
Ok God. You're giving me an opportunity to glorify you and share the gospel with a lot of people.
I'm not a good speaker, but I'll do whatever you need me to be.
This isn't my favorite activity but I'm willing to do that for you.
And just like that I said I'd do it, and within moments I felt the panic seeping into my mind and body. Anxious thoughts and doubts were pouring out of me.
What if I don't do it right?
What if they don't like me?
What if I pass out or throw up or something?
What if I can't do it at all?
What if they change their mind?
What if I share too much and I ruin everything?
What if the power goes out while I'm talking and the microphone shocks my lip and I turn into a superhero with fire breathing powers and I'm forced to live a double life of a teacher and a local hero who secretly defends the community at night?
...yeah. Definitely not that last one...
So immediately I start thinking of all the things I can start doing to prepare myself in the upcoming months.
Melissa, if you just lost weight and wore more make up then maybe you won't be so self conscious in front of a group of people.
Melissa, if you just bought more expensive clothes that fit perfectly on you then you'd get a lot of compliments and people wouldn't notice anything about how you look anyway.
Melissa, if you edit your testimony and only leave in the parts that make you sound good then people are going to like you regardless of all your messiness.
And just like that, I became that stack of pancakes. Funny how God works isn't it? It's funny how I put together a quick little devotional this week that I've heard a hundred times and that I thought was kind of goofy, but it's been a huge presence in my life this week. It's funny that I thought I was above needing to be reminded of the gospel. It amazes me when God allows me to see how pieces of His plan are unfolding right before my eyes.
It's still something I'm nervous about, but now I'm more excited for the opportunity than I am anything else. I've been praying about it a lot and I have a confidence that God is going to give me the words to say that are going to bring Him the most glory. I just have to trust Him. This song has been on repeat the last few days, and I hope it provides you with as much encouragement as it's provided me.
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