Sunday, April 6, 2014

If I Could Write a Letter To Me

Dear Melissa,
I wish you could have read this when you were about twelve years old. I can picture you sitting in your desk in Mrs. Dacus' classroom rushing through your TCAP practice so you could finish the chapter in whatever book you had your hands on at the moment, or so you could pass a note over to your friend. No, you never get caught passing notes in class. Don't stress out.
Anyway, I wish  you could have read this when you were about twelve. I wish I could go back in time and tell you that the fight you just had with your friend over the fact that you didn't stick up for her at the lunch table isn't the end of the world. In fact, ya'll are laughing about it tomorrow. You remember that fight though all throughout high school and well into your college career, and you never sit idly to the side and watch someone be bullied when you have the opportunity to stick up for them. I wish I could tell you to play the clarinet like mom told you to in sixth grade. Choir is fine, and you sing in the church choir one day too, but oh the experience you have at your eighth grade spring concert!!! Let's just say that you'll never listen to Amazing Grace the same way again. Plus, you regret not being able to read music later on. I wish I could tell you not to eat a banana when you're already feeling nauseous.  Because when you throw up a banana, it takes about a year before you can even stand the smell.Iwish I could tell you to eat the stupid Flintstones vitamin everyday, and to drink more water and less sweet tea.It would've paid off.
But, more than anything I wish I could tell you this.Over the next few years you'll learn that you can't make everyone happy. You learn that you need to listen more and talk less. You learn how to stay out of drama, and will learn how to handle the everyday problems with poise and wisdom. You'll grow up. It gets messy sometimes, you'll cry a lot, you'll get stressed, you'll get angry, but you'll be okay. One day you'll sit down at you're desk in the bedroom (A nice desk, not the ugly white one in the corner of your bedroom. That goes away a little later in life.) and briefly reminisce on what you've been through in life so far. You'll make the realization that while things seem hard, and unfair, and unjust; you don't have it bad at all.
By the time you're eighteen you will have gotten into a handful of arguments with mom and dad, have a speeding ticket under your belt, passed your first semester of college, and both started and quit your first job. You'll stay busy but  you like every second of you're crazy schedule.
I wish I could go back in time and not only let you read this letter, but also simply talk to you and tell you about life. I would warn you to never speed in Bartlett, and to never ever confuse baking soda with baking mix. Baby girl, it takes a LONG time and a LOT of failed recipes before you can even make Mac n Cheese. I know that you'll never read this, and even if you do a lot of it won't make sense. That's okay. Regardless of how old you are or where you are in life, just know that while you have bad days you do not have a bad life. When you make mistakes, it doesn't make you a bad person. You are who you are. You are imperfect, stubborn, hard-headed, and kind of air headed sometimes too. But you are one of the most passionate, empathetic dreamersthat most people will ever know. You're loyal, you're kind, and you genuinely care about everyone you meet. You make it past the stupid middle school drama, and the crazy four years of high school as well. And you know what? You turn out to be a pretty okay kid. ;) Little girl, you are very loved. Even when you don't feel like it. Remember that.
Love,
Your Future Self

No comments:

Post a Comment