This time of year is rough, and the rainy days make it harder. Today, was one of those days. I had a hard time getting motivated to get up and going this morning, and all day long I've been on edge. I had a hard time concentrating in Sunday School, I was stuttering and mumbling a lot, I was fidgety, I set my purse down and left it at church (with my wallet and Bible!) I was exceptionally jumpy, I set down my cell phone and forgot it at a restaurant, etc. etc. etc.
(I found both my purse, wallet, and phone....just so you know.)
Before you roll your eyes and tell me to get over it; seasonal affective disorder is a real thing. I have it. I'm not lazy. I'm not depressed because I've lost meaning in my life. I'm not anxious because I don't pray enough or I'm not active enough or I worry too much. If you disagree with me, that's your prerogative; but it's a real thing. Nothing frustrates me more than people telling me or other people that anxiety is a state of mind and all in your head. Or that depression is for lazy people who can't snap out of it. I'm sorry you don't understand it and feel like you have to attack it. I don't understand asthma and how it works, but I absolutely don't go around telling people it doesn't exist. You can't look at a person and judge whether or not they have asthma based off of how they look. You can't look at a person and tell if they have an anxiety/depression disorder either. Research is a wonderful thing, do some before you form opinions on things you know nothing about. Sorry if that comes across as harsh, I don't mean for it to. I just want to be abundantly clear.
I don't complain about it too often, but like I said some days are just a lot harder than others.
BUT here's what I'm thankful for. I'm thankful for my mom who took me to breakfast, for my friends who made me laugh, for a friend who treated me to lunch for no reason (without even knowing I had a bad day!) for shopping adventures in the Dollar store, for puppy dog kisses when I come home, for a little brother I adore and admire so so much, for being able to jump in puddles and get messy and come in and change into warm clothes and drink hot tea. I'm thankful for my dad, for Super Bowl sunday, and for lots and lots of food to share with friends. I'm thankful for my pastors and sunday school teachers, and children saying funny things that make me laugh. I'm thankful for the ability to set goals and work hard towards accomplishing them. I'm thankful. I'm thankful for the hard days like today that make me appreciate what I have in life. My life isn't perfect. Guess what? That's perfectly okay. :) I love the life I'm living, and when I take a moment to think about all the beautiful things I have- even on a day when it's hard to keep my head above the water- I can't help but praise God for how absolutely wonderful He is.
End of Soapbox.
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