Buying Yogurt is Melissa Moment #382

Ladies and Gentleman I have a story to tell you that I hope not only brings a smile to your face, but also teaches you the importance of being aware of your surroundings. Seriously folks, learn from my mistakes and please please please don't accidentally do this...

I'm still laughing at myself and it's been more than half an hour.

I went to the store to buy some Chobani yogurt. Chobani is usually a little more expensive so I was only planning on buy three or four. I walked past the baskets and straight back to the dairy section of Kroger. 

When I got to the yogurt wall I saw that Chobani was on sale 10/$10. To me that seemed like a great deal, so I decided to go ahead and buy 10 of them.

I thought I could carry ten yogurts without a basket or any help. This was not a good idea. I made it down an aisle about halfway before I dropped five or six of the yogurts. I don't know how, but none of them spilled! They just made a really loud noise, and I thought for sure an employee was about to turn the corner and start to yell at me. 

So I did what any rational person would do at this point- I lined all of my yogurt up on top of the hamburger helpers and set off to get a basket.

As I walked away from my yogurts that were randomly placed on a pantry aisle, I saw a basket sitting in the middle of an aisle a few rows over. The basket was full of things that employees use to restock the shelves, so I knew it didn't belong to anybody but I didn't look to see what was in it. 

Cool, I don't have to walk all the way back up to the front of the store. I'll grab this basket, take my yogurt up front, leave my yogurt with the cashier for a minute, and bring the basket back. Perfect plan!

I was pretty proud of myself for being so resourceful.

I tossed my yogurt at the front part (where you would normally place a kid) and walked through Kroger more worried about an employee stopping me and asking why I dropped so many yogurts more than anything else. I just tried to act as smooth as possible-like I did this all the time.

I get in line and the lady in front of me smiled, looked at my basket, and then gave me a very funny look.

That should have been my red flag, but I didn't think anything of it.

After a few minutes it's my time to check out, so I approach the cashier and say something like "Hi! I'm just buying the yogurt. I had to borrow this cart because I thought I could carry them, but I couldn't. I'll take the cart back in just a second."

The man at the checkout starts to laugh, and replies by saying "Good!! I thought I was going to have a story to tell when I got home tonight."

Ya'll.

For the first time, I look in the basket and I just want to DIE from embarrassment. There are about eighteen boxes of male depends, two or three boxes of 'male contraceptives', and several boxes of marshmallow peeps.

I have no idea why these items are in this cart in the middle of one of the pantry aisles at Kroger. I have no idea how I didn't notice them sitting in the basket. I have no idea what people were thinking as I was obliviously pushing this basket full of odd items to the front of Kroger getting ready to check out. I just don't know. I DO know that from here on out I will be way more aware of my surroundings, and I suggest you do the same if you want Kroger employees to not laugh at you or talk about you in the break room...

P.S - I did take the basket back to where I found it. Where did I find it? The coffee aisle. Because that makes perfect sense, doesn't it?