1. There is always a loser. Always. A majority of that time the loser is going to be you. The same singular loser, regardless of who's playing.
2. You have to verbally idolize the success and positive attributions of others while bringing yourself down as far as you possibly can. Think of the worst thing about yourself, and put it next to all of the best things you adore about the person you admire. Think of that one awful thing you did two summers ago. Or that one thing that you hate about yourself that you do all the time. Keep thinking about it....obsess over it...don't stop.
3. Once you start playing you can't ever stop. You'll do it constantly, on purpose, on accident, at the grocery store, in the shower, at the movies, all. the. time.
Welcome to the comparison game. You won't see many volunteering as tribute for this one...
You've probably been playing round after round for as long as you can remember without even knowing. Sometimes you'll win: the person who you thought of just wasn't up to the standards you had laid out or thought up. But, winning the comparison game is a rarity. And guess what? No trophies, medals, ribbons, honorable mentions, or free coupons have ever been given to the winner of a comparison game. Sorry. You only occasionally get a brief satisfaction blended with guilt, peppered throughout by constant jealousy and spite.
The game is intense and exhausting. You may scrutinize an individual for days, weeks, months, possibly even years before deciding that he or she is better than you, that you aren't half as good as they are at whatever it is that they do, that they rule and you drool, and that you never stood a chance.
Here's the BEAUTIFUL thing I want you to read over and over:
You do not have to be in competition with the people around you.
Here's what that means to me...
To the girls with the 4.0 GPA...you are not my competition.
To the ladies who fit perfectly somewhere between too little and too big...you are not my competition.
To the women who have everything in life color coded, organized, highlighted, and written in 7 different colors of ink...as much as I admire that...you are not my competition.
To the young ladies who are barely 20 years old, in perfect relationships, engaged, or soon to be married...you are not my competition.
To the girls with the hair that looks absolutely, overwhelmingly perfect...even in a messy bun...you are not my competition.
To the women who have picturesque Pinterest apartments...you are not my competition.
To my dear friends who are more outgoing than I am and know how to charm and work a room with a ease...you are not my competition.
To the peer in my class that my professor seems to call on more than any other student...you are not my competition.
To my role models and people I look up to and admire for being seemingly perfect at everything they do...guess what....you are not my competition.
Life shouldn't be this constant competitive game. We should strive to do our best and in doing so put our best foot forward, but we shouldn't break our backs trying to win these mental games in our heads. I don't need to walk in a room and be the sole individual with the best grades, the best clothes, the cutest scarf, the most interesting major, the most chaotic week, the funniest story, the nicest manicure, etc. I don't need to walk into a room and feel horrible for not wearing matching socks or having my hair up in a messy bun and wearing sweatpants for the third night this week. I don't need to walk into class and begin to beat myself up because Susie got an A+ on her English assignment but I got a D-. I shouldn't re read Facebook statuses, Instagram posts, tweets, or blog posts over and over again dozens of times a piece LOOKING for mistakes in fear of making one and being thought less of by people who know me. I shouldn't think that I have to act one way around one group of people and act another way around another group just to get people to like me. Because guess what?
It isn't a competition.
Everyone is fearfully and wonderfully made. (Ps. 139:14)
We are loved unconditionally. (1 John 4:16)
We are children of the King. (Galatians 3:26)
We all have special talents and gifts that can be used for His glory. (1 Peter 4:10-11)
And this is true for all of us: "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8)
So often I let jealousy, anger, bitterness, fear, pride, and spite cloud my judgment. I get lost in the land of if only, and I forget that often in my mind while playing round after round of the comparison game, I'm tearing my own brother or sister in Christ down in order to build myself up. It just isn't worth it. We're supposed to love one another and serve one another humbly so that we may become more like Christ. Where is there room for that in rounds of the comparison game?
So, I leave you with the challenge of forfeiting. Forfeit the game, call it quits, find a new game to play. Find ways you can compare yourself to your Creator instead of those around you, and challenge yourself to become more like Jesus instead of succumbing to your earthly ideas of ideals and unattainable perfection.
